Mar 10, 2014

Creating and Coping

It's been a full week since my last post.  Did you know putting your very honest and raw thoughts on your blog for the public to read is like dropping a boulder into a very still body of water.  What was calm became chaotic.  Upon initial publication the drop of information created a few large waves.  Now, as time is passing, things are calming back down and all that is left is a few small ripples.  

I like to think, based off of the comments and emails I received, that some how my honesty helped somebody.  Those of you that reached out to me and shared this sentiment, thank you!  It's like those small ripples have reached you and you and I are now connected.  And, even though we don't know each, neither of us are alone in our trials.  

At least that's what I like to think.

Something else I've been thinking about this week is coping.  So how does one cope when they have created waves, are looking for answers, and are still chipping away at their golden Buddha?  Well, here's what helped me this week....

I've Made Things:  

When I was in Utah a few weeks ago I found myself roaming the aisles of Michaels.  I picked up a sketch pad, a couple of markers and these cute little canvases.  I say little because they really are little.  They measure just about 2.5 x 4 inches.  To kill time this week (I was sick in bed for a couple of days) I took little sayings that my readers had sent me in their comments and made a bunch of these little canvases using their words. 

I plan to keep them in my purse and leave them in random places.  Maybe on co-worker's desks.  Maybe on car windows.  Maybe at the DMV.  You know, just a little random thing to cheer someone else's day.  

On a side note, I realized this week that I've been doodling robots every since my dad died.  I like robots but if you look at my sketchbooks, it's page after page of little robots.  I wonder if that is because a robot is the epitome of what I've been feeling like lately.  A robot is programmed to act and think and do certain things.  They go through the motions but never really feel passion or excitement about what they are doing.  Nor do they question it.  (That is unless you are #5 from Short Circuit)  For months that's how I felt - just get through.  Just go through the motions.   

In addition to robot canvases, I've been doing a few hand drawn thank you cards.  Just some simple flowers but they are kind of fun.  Perhaps I will water color them at some point but for now I kind of like the simple black, white, and touch of red.

I also had two projects that ummm, well, didn't go so well but it's ok. It's still been good to work on something.

Ooops Project 1:  The prom dress - Miss M got asked to prom.  This is all great and good and she is super excited but it means that I have to sew.  The dress needs to be altered to make it modest.  I have grand visions of how it will look but getting it to that point, ummm, well, hmmm.  I've already had one mishap with an uneven hem and I cut too much of the tulle and it can't be replaced.  Is there a do-over button for prom dress alterations?  I wish there were.  The good news is it has allowed Miss M and I to spend a lot of time together this week and that has been really nice.

Ooops Project 2:  Don't my cookies look yummy?  Ya, in case you are wondering, they aren't chocolate.  Those are very, very burnt Snickerdoodles.  They should look like the lighter color one shown but as you can see - they don't.  The plus side to burnt cookies is that it allowed laughter to return to our home.  And, once we cleared out the awful smell, we did laugh. And we laughed a lot.  

I Watched Things:

A couple of other things I did this week to help me cope was I watched two great movies.  If you are feeling a little lost or are trying to find yourself, I highly recommend both of these movies.  They speak to my soul on so many different levels.

 Eat Pray Love:  I have so many quotes that I keep from this movie, I'll have to share them with you someday.  I relate to this movie.  Not so much the relationships but just the over-all soul searching and the idea of finding yourself and your purpose.  There is a great line in there about Ruin.  "Ruin is a gift.  Ruin is the road to transformation." - So true!  When we are down, broken, hurting, feeling ruined, really it is a blessing.  It's a chance for us to be humbled and then transform.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty:  This movie did not get great reviews but Mr. K and I went on a date last week and saw it anyway.  I'm so glad we did.  Similar to Eat Pray Love, it's about taking chances and breaking out of a rut.  It comes out on video in April and I will be buying it!  Period!  And, now because of this movie, Mr. K is now known as Home Slice.  And then when I call him that, my girls freak out and then we laugh.  Laughing is good!

I've Listened to Things:

I love All That We Let In by the Indigo girls and Monster by Imagine Dragons.  Both have been on repeat.  Good emotions, good messages in both songs that I can relate to.

And this devotional, LOVE this devotional!  Regardless of your religious affiliation, if you are Christian you will probably really like his view point. It made me think, a lot!   His Grace is Sufficient by Brad Wilcox 

And, I've Captured Things:

I'm finally getting behind the lens again.

I'm working on a photo project that I'm not ready to talk about too much yet but I'm super excited about it.  I've started to recruit some models.  The intent is to give back to those who have given so much to me and it feels good to look outward instead of inward so much!

So, there you have it.  That's how I've been coping with things this week.  I feel better.  There are still struggles but there is hope and hope is good!