I'm cutting ties with my one true love.
I'm saying good-bye.
I'm letting go.
It's going to be hard but it will be worth it.
So here's what happened. Growing up, I was always a string bean. In fact, in Junior High I was given the nick-name Ethopian Chicken. It was not a nice nick-name. The name came about because in the mid-80's there was a horrible famine in Ethopia. The media was filled with devastating images of people, skin sagging off of their bones, dying. Starving to death. I still have images in my head of children with arms as thin as toothpicks and bloated bellies. The emptiness in their eyes that showed in those photographs was heartbreaking. It was a horrible thing to see and news about Ethopia was everywhere. Even as self-absorbed teens we were aware. During this time, I went to school one day wearing tight fitting, gray, 501 jeans with a yellow stripped sweater. My friends, seeing my skinny legs and associating the colors of my outfit with a farm fowl, decided that I looked like a chicken and one that had not been fed. I became known as the Ethopian Chicken.
High School wasn't much better. Girls are mean and I often heard cruel comments about my weight, my bird legs and about my hip bones that protruded out. In my early years of high school people were convinced I had an eating disorder. I didn't. I was just thin. College helped though, that freshman 15 hit and I finally looked normal. I held onto a good weight until my twins were born and then, poof, that natural, easy, no-work slenderness went away.
Now, 10 years later, I find my self in an unknown area and I know I need to make some changes.
Shock number one came when I was helping some friends out this week and saw an episode of the Biggest Loser while at their house. I don't usually connect to shows like that but as I watched I realized that one of the show's contestants had a starting weight that is what I weigh now. My mind raced with questions. Is that what I look like? Am I that big? I justified it, I'm taller than her so I hold my weight better. That was a lie. I knew it but it made me feel better.
This morning shock number two came with a phone call from my Doctor. Nobody wants a 7am phone call from a doctor. My blood test results showed some areas of concern. Concerns that I've just been pushing to the back of my mind. I knew about them. I didn't need a test to tell me. I've just been really good about ignoring them.
I can't any more.
Today is my day to make some changes. I will never be an Ethopian Chicken again. Bird legs aren't in my future and I won't be seeing my hip bones any time soon. As an almost 40 year old woman, I will never have it easy where my weight is concerned again but I can make some changes that will last a lifetime and that's what I will be working on.
So, today, I publicly say good-bye (if I say it publicly, it makes it more real) to my one true love ....
Thanks for being with me with through the thick and the thin. But truth is, you've just been making me thick and that's just not working for me anymore.
And, in case you are wondering, and I don't mean to make you jealous, but you have been replaced.
A tall drink of water has been waiting for its time with me. I've flirted with this relationship before but couldn't turn on you. It's time though. Water has offered me things that you can not give me; a thinner waist line, more energy, healthier skin, a lower bill at the dentist office and a comforting shield against diabetes.
So, goodbye my love, Water is now the one for me.
P.S. - While this was a personal post, thanks for letting me take a break from my usual crafty posts. If anyone out there has been successful at giving up soda, I'd love to hear from you. Chocolate and candy don't really tempt me. My difficulties will be in giving up my ice cold cokes and cutting down my carbs, I'm not going completely without the carbs, just cutting them back. Anyway, I'd love to hear your success stories. Please share.